7 Paths Blog

Lately I’ve been reading a brutally honest book, Leading with a Limp: Turning Your Struggles into Strengths by Dan B. Allender, Ph.D.

“Leaders are dangerous. They can bite without provocation,” he says, “or at least without logic, and it is best to stay out of their way or you’ll have to deal with the consequences.”

In the early 1990’s I discovered how dangerous leaders can be. For six years I worked closely with one of the founders of Plow Creek. I looked up to him and learned much from him. He had a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and many gifts as a leader.

When he took a position in our denomination, I succeeded him as lead elder. He continued as a member of our communal group and was supportive of my leadership.

Then he disclosed a secret history of sexual misconduct that included abuse of children. He disclosed the misconduct when he realized he could no longer silence the family of one of the victims.

Talk about betrayal. Our community went into shock. I struggled to pick up the pieces. People kept coming to me and pouring out their stories of pain–not only pain from the actions of the Plow Creek leader but also the missteps and betrayals of other leaders.

I remember sitting in my office at 3:00 a.m. weeping after having heard a particularly painful story told by a woman the night before, a story where I could easily imagine myself making the same mistake as the leaders who had wounded her so deeply. “Who can possibly be a leader?” I wondered.

Reading Allender’s book, I thought of that dark night of the soul. Out of that painful crisis I continued to lead but with much more humility. I became what Allender calls, “a reluctant leader.

“Reluctant leaders don’t aspire to hold power;” Allender says, “in fact, they avidly work to give it away. They attempt this even as they use power to create a context where power is used fairly, wisely, and with checks and balances.”

1st published 6/25/08.