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Archive for the ‘personal’ Category
Pruning
Thursday, July 15th, 2010 by richfossRecently I asked one of the farmers at Plow Creek to describe pruning. In February each year he and another farmer or two prune our two acres of blueberries. I assumed that the he and the others are doing a good job because this season we’ve taken off more than four tons of blueberries from the two acre plot.
Pruning is not for the faint of heart. Not only do they remove the dead branches but they also cut substantial portions of each plant in order to produce more fruit.
Another farmer spoke up and said, “The purpose of pruning is to direct the energy of the plant so that it grows in the direction you want it to grow.”
When he said that the purpose of pruning is to direct the energy of the plant I flashed back to last fall when I suffered five compression fractures in my back. I wasn’t able to drive from November through March. In addition, I had a series of lung infections.
The effect was the same as pruning. Suddenly I had very little energy and was not able to move freely and travel. I did the one thing I could do—write. I wrote the first draft of a projected 200-page ebook, Green Light Fundraising: Your Sustainable Fundraising Guide to Raising $50,000 to $500,000 a Year to Light Up the Eyes of People You Serve, completing it in June.
I’m now over half way done with the first re-write.
I don’t know if God was pruning me or not but it sure felt like it. My ability to move was cut way back and I directed my energy into writing Green Light Fundraising.
I wonder whether Green Light Fundraising will bear much fruit in the nonprofit world. Wouldn’t that be nice?
When life stops making sense
Tuesday, July 6th, 2010 by richfossWhen life stops making sense, I start writing poetry. The first time I began writing poetry was in my late teens when I was trying to make sense out of becoming disabled wit rheumatoid arthritis at age 17.
Occasionally life becomes irrational and it’s difficult to make logical sense of it. I find poetry, which depends on sound, images and emotion, is a liberating way to explore life when it stops making sense.
Several times in the ensuing forty years I’ve had periods of writing poetry. On March 28 I began writing a poem a day for several weeks, exploring my experience of a series of lung infections in 2009 and 2010, five compression fractures in my back last fall, and a flare up of my rheumatoid arthritis.
The medical conditions left me wondering if I could continue at CEO/Teachers Asst. of Evergreen Leaders. I’ve always been a visionary and suddenly I was so depleted of energy that I couldn’t plan.
Also, I began to use a walker when I wasn’t using my wheelchair. I felt shame at being so helpless.
Every Monday morning I send a e-mail the board and staff of EGL, updating them on our work with Evergreen Leaders. To keep in touch, I included former board members, former interns, and former staff on the e-mail list. It seemed like over the winter and spring I was giving endless medical reports. One morning a former intern sent me an e-mail, telling me that her son wast hospitalized for a chronic condition over the weekend and then she wrote the italicized words the wrap up the poem below. To say I was moved by her comments is an understatement.
Here’s a poem where I explored shame.
Shame
“It is better to give than to receive,”
you said, O Lord,
and I said,
“It is shameful to be helpless.”
“Stop being a big baby,”
rings the voices of my childhood.
To be a man, bent and broken,
who needs a hand…
I would rather sit at home.
What say you, O Lord,
of huge and tiny voice?
For one to give,
another must receive.
For one to bear fruit,
another must die.
I was disfigured
that you, bent and broken,
may be honored:
But some how it gives me pleasure and hope
that you always seem to find the strength to go on.
I am impressed and filled with hope.
And it does not happen very often.
You are one of the truly good people I have met.
How honest should a blog be?
Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010 by richfossIt’s been three months since I posted and, after reading my posts back through November, I can see that I have been studiously avoiding the central events of my life.
I don’t know whether I was being wise or dishonest.
I’ve decided to be more honest, to invite my readers to be part of my journey in a way that I have tended to avoid writing about.
Beginning in March 2009 I began to experience repeated lung infections, one or more a month for the rest of the year. Then last fall I suffered five compression fractures in my back.
In the spring of 2009 the Evergreen Leaders board and I set a goal of raising $40,000 to underwrite the writing, design, and production of a 200-page ebook, Green Light Fundraising: Your Sustainable Fundraising Guide to Raising $50,000 to $500,000 a Year to Light Up the Eyes of People You Serve.
By the middle of November my back pain was severe, I was losing weight, I could no longer drive because my back screamed when I leaned forward to turn the key in the ignition and move the gear shift, and my energy took a dive, probably from a combination of the compression fractures and the repeated lung infections. I became desperate enough that I asked my family doctor to refer me to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.
I was beginning to ponder my death. Sarah, my wife, suggested I might have to go on disability.
I could no longer travel to do fundraising.
It was a very dark, grim time.
There was one tiny beam of light left in my work life–I could still write. I decided to write on Green Light Fundraising and resume fundraising later.
More of the saga on another day.
Black History Month becomes personal
Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010 by richfossI have two wonderful black son-in-laws and three black grandchildren. Black History Month is taking on a new meaning to me. Here is a link to Rosetta Thruman’s blog where she is posting about 28 black nonprofit leaders in 28 days.
And here’s a great story of making a difference from Rodney D. Coates about a black student starting an organization called Gentlemen of Distinguished Character.
Good news from Haiti
Saturday, January 16th, 2010 by richfossHere’s good news re Lavona from Pete Begly: We have not heard directly from Lovana but a relative left a message on our answering machine that she and her children are doing fine! Please keep praying for her travel plans and that her children still have thier documents. Especially keep praying for Haiti.
I’ll post when we hear directly from Lavona.
Here’s a link from another nonprofit that I know personally that do good work in Haiti:
http://mcc.org/stories/videos/mcc-haiti-earthquake-response
Cornered by job loss
Thursday, December 10th, 2009 by richfossLast night I watched an Italian film, Days and Clouds, about a man, Michele, who is forced out of a twenty-year business partnership by a good friend. For two months he keeps the loss of his job a secret from his wife, Elsa, who is completing a degree.
The 2007 film is an unblinking look at a marriage under the duress of a man losing his career. Life closes in around them and they are forced to sell both their boat and their home. A middle-aged man, he desperately tries to find another job while dealing with the shame of his job loss. Not only did he not tell his wife for two months, even after he told her, he refused to tell their twenty-year old daughter. She discovers her father’s job loss when she sees him working as a courier delivering packages on a motorbike, a job he has taken out of desperation.
Elsa responds to their plight by taking two part time job as a telemarketer and secretary, both jobs that do not use her degree.
The film especially hit home for me because earlier this fall I began to have back trouble, eventually diagnosed as four compression fractures of vertebrae. In the middle of raising funds for a EGL project, I haven’t been able to drive for almost a month. Sarah has had to give me a hand much more than usual. She recently told a friend that in addition to her job as a nurse, caring for me is like a second full time job. Life has closed in around me. It’s been very humbling to not be able to travel for my work like I’m used to doing. And it’s very humbling to have to ask Sarah for help and other friends as well.
I’m fortunate that I haven’t lost my job. I’ve switched from raising funds to underwrite the writing and production of a 200-page eBook to actually writing the book (Green Light Fundraising: Your guide to raising $50,000 to $500,000 a year to light up the eyes of people you serve) with plans to pick up with the fund raising in 2010 when my back has healed.
Also, unlike the couple in the film, Sarah and I are part of Plow Creek Fellowship, a group that shares finances, so we will not lose our home because of my health crisis.
As I watched the film I couldn’t help but think of all the people my age who have lost their jobs worldwide in the two years since the film came out. There’s no easy way out of the wilderness when life becomes uncharted territory.
The film and my life both point to the same faint hope–the people around you suffer with you, struggle with you, and love you. Thanks Sarah, Plow Creek friends, and Evergreen Leaders board.
Three things, no four to be thankful for
Thursday, November 26th, 2009 by richfossOne, three wonderful children, three lively grandchildren, and one amazing wife. For 35.5 years I have had my dream family.
Two, a people and place. Plow Creek is my people and place. For 32.5 years I have lived among friends, fellow faith folks who serve freely and generously with their gifts, talents, and money. Even though I cannot farm I have the honor of living on a farm and cheering on the farmers and gardeners and enjoying the fruits and vegetables of their labors and of the earth.
Three, good work. For 32 years I have had the honor of building up, as a leader and fundraiser, nonprofits who provide essential services to the people who live on the edges of our communities. What a privilege to give my heart and mind to this work.
Three things to be thankful for, no four things. This amazing life is made possible by our generous, merciful, and holy God. Thanks for life, son of the living God.
Surprised by grief
Thursday, July 23rd, 2009 by richfoss1st published 2/18/08
On Sunday morning I was beating two eggs for waffles when suddenly I welled up with tears as I thought of my Mom beating eggs for pancakes. How many mornings had she stood at the kitchen counter, beating eggs for the countless pancakes she made for Dad and the eight boy and two girls in her clan.
Note: my Mom died on 1/26/08.
Love & work
Thursday, July 23rd, 2009 by richfoss1st published 2/14/08
On Valentine’s Day 1974 I gave Sarah her first Valentine from me. Three months and four days later we married. On our wedding day I could not believe how lucky I was. (For my religious readers, you can translate that as “how blessed I was”.) She was beautiful. We could talk for hours. She loved me and I loved her. I could hardly wait for our wedding night.
Now that we’ve been married for almost 34 years and I’ve discovered Sarah is a lot more than beautiful. She has talents that I was oblivious to in the passion leading up to our wedding.
She’s an organizational genius. She kept our family and home organized while we were raising our three children. She still keeps our home organized. I’m amazed and blessed by her organizational skills because when the Creator handed me my skill set, he overlooked keeping track of details.
She’s a great confidante. As someone who was placed in leadership positions beginning shortly after we were married I benefitted from having someone I could talk over the dreams and craziness that are a part of leadership. The conversation never ends.
She laughs at my foibles. When you marry, it’s like you marry a mirror. You get reflections on strengths and weaknesses you never knew you had. Especially the weaknesses. The mirror of marriage can magnify your weaknesses or reflect them kindly. Sarah overlooks my weaknesses sometimes and reflects my weaknesses with warm laughter at other times. What a talent she has for loving me.
She’s a great editor. In the 1993 I finished the first draft of a long dreamed of novel, Jonas and Sally. When I gave it to Sarah to read for the first time I suggested she mark it up where she thought it needed to be improved. Boy, did she mark it up. I was blue for a week. Then I began rewriting and discovered that she was a brilliant editor. Shortly after the rewrite it was accepted for publication and the editor at the publishing company had little work to do because Sarah had worked her editorial magic. She still edits most of my writing.
Thirty-four years later I still can’t believe how blessed I am to be married to Sarah. And she’s still beautiful in the light of day and in the sweet, dark of night.
The joy of teaching
Thursday, March 15th, 2007 by adminLast Monday night I taught a one hour course on blogs at our local library. What fun. Three people came to the event. My wife came, not because she has much of an interest in blogs, but she was being nice to me. I like nice.
The other students were a retired couple who knew nothing about blogs other than the term. They were eager students and by the end of the hour they headed home with plans to create a blog this weekend.
Have a passion? Volunteer to teach it at your local library.
There’s something deeply satisfying about teaching eager students.